Top Ten Favorite Types of Selfies

Ah, the selfie. So many ways to capture yourself in a photo. Making sure you do whatever it takes in order for you to get those likes. That's whats important, right? Or even if its just a photo of yourself to share with friends and loved ones. I think some of the selfies people take are hilarious and most people don't even see anything wrong with them. Nonetheless, i know we are all (including myself) guilty of taking one or two of the following pictures. Technology today gives us the opportunity to show others how, what, or or even who were doing. Its just that I cant pass up the opportunity to call out some of my, um, favorite selfies of all time. Oh, and the rest of this post has absolutely no sarcasm in it whatsoever.

• DUCKFACE SELFIES - Hey girls, wanna know the secret to having full lips? poke them out as far as you can. Pout, poke out, and make those kissy faces! You look great! its probably the most flattering face you can make and guess what? ALL THE BOYS LOVE IT.

• GYM SELFIES - All the gym rats know that your workout isn't complete with out that snap shot of you in the mirror by all the gym equipment. Whats the point of working out without proof that you worked out?

• BUTT ON SINK SELFIES - Ladies, we all know the point of posting pictures of ourselves is for likes right? Well in order to get the most likes, put your ass on a sink, poke it out and take a picture! Its a form of photography magic that can enlarge that asset of yours. Remember, no one likes a girls personality, its all about the derriere!

• CAR SELFIES - Nothing like telling the world that you're one the road and on your phone at the same time. Going shopping? TAKE A CAR SELFIE! Going out? TAKE A CAR SELFIE! Riding around trying to stalk your ex? TAKE A DAMN CAR SELFIE!! Take as many car selfies as you want, each will look completely different and unique!

• PREGNANCY SELFIES - Every single week you must post a picture of you're pregnant belly. Every SINGLE week that fetus is growing and we MUST see what it looks like from the outside. Each week you grow EXPONENTIALLY bigger and there's a huge difference between week 15 and week 16. Little girls are getting pregnant all the time, because cute little baby bumps are all the rage. Just check out all those likes! Fuck birth control right?

• "IM SLEEPING" SELFIE - Don't you ever just get the urge to tell people that your sleeping, and that you look good doing it? Take a sleep selfie! No one will ever think that it was you that took it! After all , not one person in this world sleeps alone, not even if your marital status on your Facebook page says that you're single!

• CLUB SELFIES - These selfies usually are captioned with something like "Turn down for what?" or "The club cant even handle me right now!". What goes on in the picture usually depends on the person who posts it. For example guys would probably include their friends around them with bottles. There could be a girls ass in there somewhere as well. Girls usually have all their "bitches" lined up posing the same pose. Extremely generic, yet oh so necessary.

• THIRST TRAP SELFIES - While there are many ways to take a thirst trap selfie, the most common one posted usually has a half naked girl, or guy, in bed with the caption "god i love this bed". Keep it up though, none of us knows what your trying to do.. at all.

• REPETITIVE SELFIES - I'd like to dedicate part of this entire section to a specific internet sensation. The man pictured above is mrpimpgoodgame from Instagram who is literally the king of repetitive selfies. Taking the same picture over and over and over and over again. yeah. we love that shit. 

• POOP SELFIES - The poop selfie, pretty self-explanatory. The world wants to see you poop! The world needs to see the face you make when you push out that bad boy! These little gems have been popularized by two people that i know, Zak Pucci & Pat Mayes. Dont believe that poop selfies are cool? check out poopselfielyfe on Instagram. Thanks guys, I really enjoy seeing people shit. 

5 Good Reasons This Snow Can Go F**k Itself

      If you're from New Jersey like me, or any state on the East Coast for that matter, I think we can all agree that we are fed up with Mother Nature. Here it is in the middle of February and the snow just keeps piling up. I think this post is highly appropriate since we've just received another 3 inches. While I'm positive there are tons of reasons why this snow can go kick rocks, I'm going to give you 5 of them that a lot of us can relate to.

1. Hidden Ice Patches FROM HELL. Need i say more? Nothing is worse than casually walking down the street and suddenly sliding and falling as if you're Bambi fresh out of the womb. Not to mention falling on ice into the snow is FAR more embarrassing if there wasn't snow. Even if someone didn't see you, they see the wet marks on your clothing and they already know the deal. Later on you laugh about the little tumble, but at the time its just down right annoying, especially if you're in public.
2. SHOVELING. First time, fine. Second, not that bad. Third time it gets to suck. With the 6th snow fall i can easily say were sick of this shit. I can guarantee that if you shoveled each and every time the snow fell, you probably have Popeye arms. What happened to the days when kids used to walk around with shovels and offer to shovel your walkway for 5 bucks? I had a kid come to my house asking for $20. Lets just say he got a whole face full of door, even though it would have probably been worth it.
3. Adults cant play in the snow without looking crazy. Seriously, sometimes i wish i can just lay down and start making a snow angel with out looking like a complete jerk off. Even kids in their late teens can get away with building an igloo and sneaking in a few beers. I tried to have a little snow party. An hour into building the damn thing, we gave up and came inside feeling defeated because we knew we were just too friggin old for it. I even tried to go sledding at the state park we have here, and still, there was just something a little off about people in their twenties waiting behind little kids to go sledding down a hill. You don't really have any excuse to be out building a snowman unless you have kids of your own.
4. Passing out drunk on your lawn can kill you. It's been a little while since this has happened to me, but its a fair warning to those who still party like little rock stars. Even if you make it home without falling on ice, or getting lost in the vast tundra we call "the way home", make sure that you make it safely in your bed and not to get your drunken slumber on outside. Your ass is gonna wake up a little drunksicle, if you even wake up at all. Take it from the side-walk bums that are no longer with us (RIP).
5. We're just completely over winter. Hey Punxsutawny Phil, whats the deal? I feel like every single year that little bastard sees his shadow and blesses us with six more weeks of wintry bullshit. I'm so over that holiday and any person who takes weather advice from a groundhog. Being from New Jersey, we live for the summer days on the beach. The winter is nice in the beginning, but all this snow has me counting the days until i can see grass again. Ladies, i know you cant wait until you can throw on a pair of flip flops, or little cute sandals. As for you fellas, i know you cant wait to see some boobies in bikinis and not hidden under hoodies, sweaters or scarves. Mother Nature, i think its time for you to get off you period and give us the spring and summer.. enough is enough.

Feel free to add your own reasons why you think the snow can go f**k itself. 

This is Where I'm Coming From..

~
I'm Taylor Kelly.

I'm a 22 year old girl from New Jersey.

Grew up in the one of the smallest towns there is.

I come from a humongous family, with diverse members.

I look at the glass half full, but know that glasses can fall over, break and become empty.

I've hit rough patches, ruts, and have come back from them all in one piece.

In my short 22 years on this earth, I've survived the bullshit.

I've come across some amazing characters in this movie we call "Life".

Some people hope to become famous, i hope to become unforgettable.

I know the difference between being outspoken, and being a bitch.

that's for you to decide.

Any opinion i have, anything i post, comes from my point of view.

I accept positive, as well as negative feed back because, well, that's life.

Cliche, but you live and learn.

I'm still doing both.

I'm Taylor Kelly,

& this is where I'm coming from.

~